No one knows your pain! No one understands your plight! You were there as she debated The Big Chop. You were the one who she bounced her ideas back and forth on as she decided whether or not to give up the perm lifestyle. And when you said, “Well, I don’t think you should cut your hair off yet and look into this a lil’ more,” she nodded in agreement while walking ever so quietly into the bathroom. It was you who rushed to the bathroom door in a panic after hearing obscenities, expletives and profanities only to see your lady almost in tears with a nearly bald head. When she went out in public and suffered ridicule and persecution for her pursuit of freedom, not only from societal norms, but also physical health risks, it was you who had to coach her back into confidence. When she went to work and heard the cackling of the perm posse with her boss putting his/her two sense on appropriate workplace dress, it was you who reestablished her belief in herself. And of course when her friends threw in the old “I could never do that to my hair” remarks, you had to revert back to your hood ways and say, “Eff-dem-[insert obscenity here].” No, you didn’t always agree with her decision to cut her hair and Lord knows you cringed at many of her natural hairstyles, but when she wanted that new hair steamer or chi iron, you reached in those pockets and supported. When she found a friend going natural, then a forum, then a blog, before you knew it all your “QT” was thrown out the window because she found the Natural Haired Promise Land, flowing with Shea and conditioners. And when the day was long spent, after being ripped a new one because of what she dealt with earlier that day. When you were tired and ready to go to bed and get some rest, sleep wasn’t an option because she needed someone to talk to about Shea butter, conditioners, silicones, parabens, mineral oils, heat damage, bantu knots and the list goes on…. and on… and on! But in the end, if there was such a thing, the benefits were all yours my friend, because her new found confidence gives you something to smile at and while most men have to get a court order to touch their woman’s hair, it’s your playground! Sweating out a style? You laugh at that! But that’s a topic for another conversation So while you ladies go through your never ending journey, don’t forget about the significant other going through it with you! May Kon Dishna be with you all!"